Temporary Hiatus

Due to a great many things, I'm putting this blog on a temporary hiatus. I want to be able to dedicate myself completely to the green thing and right now, I don't feel confident that I can do that. Once I get my apartment back to myself again, I'll be able to study and grow in the direction I want to the most.

See you then!

God and Gaia

I don't worship a deity. Paganism for me is a deep respect and a close relationship with the earth. I believe in the exchange of energies, the turning of the wheel, the balance and equality of everything. I do believe in spirits and the fae, but more with the understanding that they are forces of energy. Everything, for me, comes back to energy. We are energy even physically. It's like Mufasa said: when we die, we become the grass, and animals eat the grass, and we eat the animals (or the grass). The wheel turns (or the circle of life, or whatever).

A lot of people have a difficult time grasping the idea that I don't believe in god or any deity in general. Many pagans even seem baffled by the thought—no pantheon, no God and Goddess. I say that I can appreciate the idea of a a god and goddess figure, but not as a cognitive being. I can use the idea of them, the idea of duality, of water and fire, earth and air, light and dark, male and female. On my altar, I have two statues, one male and one female, and above the altar I actually have plaques representative of the Lady and the Lord of the Greenwood. I have a bowl of salt and a bowl of water. But I am particularly fond of things that display threes, or things that come in threes, for instance I have three candle holders on my altar. They represent the duality and the whole; the in-between, the neither male nor female, yet both. Even better are symbols that display things that are different, but as a whole. The pentacle is a perfect example of this, because it not only combines the physical elements but also the element of spirit (or energy), all in one neat and tidy symbol. My favorite though is the trisquette, which represents the three realms; earth, sea and air. They are all separate, but connect in the middle, because they are one.

I have never liked the idea of a god(dess) presiding over us, planning our lives for us, basically running things. It feels, more often than not, like a scapegoat. Crops don't grow? It's because of god. Didn't win the lottery? It's because of god. People blame god for things that, even if there is a god, no deity would be in control of. There are fair-weather worshipers just as there are Christmas-Easter Christians (as my Mom would have called them). Even when I was Christian (raised Methodist) I believed more in the idea that the earth was the sentient being and that it provided for us as we provided for it. I hated church, much preferring talking to God in the sanctity of my back yard, or the woods, or the meadow.

It was easy for me, after my mom gave me the book on shamanism, to relate to the ideals it presented. Even from a young age, I had a respect for the planet, and I talked to trees and animals. My mom instilled in me the idea that everything had feelings and everything was alive. When I plucked a leaf from a tree, she said, “How would you feel if a tree pulled out a piece of your hair?” I learned to ask the trees before taking from them. I learned how to pick flowers, so that the rooted plant wouldn't die, and I always said thank you.