I Ramble an Introduction

It isn't hard to find books on how to become a witch. The first book I bought on the subject is called Wicca: The Complete Craft by DJ Conway. It is very easy to read and follow, and is full of so much information about every little nook and cranny in the religion and practice of Wicca. I was fifteen or sixteen when I bought this book. It opened up a whole new world for me.

Well, that probably isn't true. I was raised Methodist (Christian), but once I was too old for Sunday School, we just kind of stopped going. It was never a heavy theme at home, but we did celebrate Christmas and Easter. I knew who Jesus was and I respected him both as a man, and as the purported son of God. I knew bible stories and lore, and I even read the entire bible when I was still very young (though honestly, I can't say I understood very much of it). I had the normal, unwavering faith in Jesus and God that anyone can expect of a young child raised to be a Christian. Even when church was not a part of my life anymore, I still said my prayers ("Now I lay me, down to sleep...") every night with my mom and my sister. I believed in God the same way I believed in the monster that lived under my bed. I never had to see it to know it was there. Heaven was the place the cat went to after being sick.

My belief in the tooth fairy outlasted Santa and the Easter bunny mostly because my sister actually saw the tooth fairy when we were kids (apparently, the tooth fairy was blue). I never saw any correlation between Santa, Easter and Christianity. I knew that Christmas was supposed to be like a birthday party, and that was why we got gifts. But Easter never really made sense to me. I remember one year, when I was in high school, my mom prompted me, "Jesus is…" I had no idea what she was talking about. She wanted me to say "Jesus is the reason for the season," and apparently I had at some point known this response, but I still to this day can't remember ever hearing it before then.

When I was twelve or thirteen, my mom gave me an old book she had about Shamanism. I ate it up. I was always into nature, and I "totally got" that there was living spirit in everything around us, even rocks. Mainly what I took away from that book was the method of meditation. I would often sit outside with my back against a thick tree trunk and practice meditation. I learned that there were other ways of connecting with the world around me.

I didn't drop Christianity all at once. Since we were not churchgoers, I firmly believed that I didn't have to be in a church to talk to God or even to worship. I felt more at home outside with nature than I did in a church (and, as I grew older, I started to grow even more uncomfortable with churches). My book on Shamanism and a healthy interest in astrology opened the door for me. I can't say there was a "moment" where I decided I wasn't Christian. I just grew out of it, the same way I grew out of Santa and the monster under the bed. It felt less and less "right," and I moved away from it.

In a lot of pagan books, there is an underlying theme of Christian hate. Some of it is based on information which may or not be true, but is usually blown far out of proportion. Yes, there were burning times. Yes, there were the Crusades. And yes, a great many Christian folk still do bad things to our people in the name of God. But not all Christians are like this, nor is Christianity necessarily a bad religion. I chose to be a pagan not because I hated Christians or the Christian religion, but because it is my path—a path I found while looking for my own version of the truth. But that's another story.

You will not hear me unjustly bad-mouthing any other religion. I'm just here to learn (with an open heart and an open mind), and hopefully you'll learn with me.

I'm older now, and I still have the DJ Conway book. It has some post-its sticking out of some pages, and the cover is a little frayed on the corners, but it still has a place on my shelf. I haven't read many books on the subject of wicca (I do not consider myself to be "wiccan") but a lot of the information in those pages is worth keeping around. I still have the Shamanism book, too. And a great many other books.

The idea I have for this blog is to learn, and to record my learning. I'll be using the Internet, along with books, and hopefully every once in awhile, I'll have someone to talk to in person about paganism. Though I've been studying it for a long time and I do consider myself a pagan, I have not officially "dedicated" or "initiated" myself and I have never worked with (or actually been around) other pagans or witches. I interact with nature on a daily basis even though I live in an urban area. My goal is to become a practicing pagan, to celebrate the sabbats, to get to know my religion and my practice inside and out. I hope you'll stick with me, and maybe even help me out in this. The blog will have some more structure after this post, I promise!

with love -- greenwhiskers